Marshall:	Whoa...
Barney:	What?
Marshall:	*Reads text from Ted* I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend.
Barney:	I sometimes have gay dreams about my best friend?
Marshall:	Why in the world would Ted text a girl he barely knows, that he sometimes has gay dreams about me?
Barney:	Whoa, whoa, slow your roll. YOU? He's clearly talking about me!
Marshall:	Dude, it's me. I'm his best friend.
Barney:	Okay, ONE, that has never been proven. TWO, if any one were to have gay dreams about one of us, it would be me. I mean, look at me... Now look at you. A still-in-the-closet-80-year-old wouldn't be into that mess.
Marshall:	Here's the thing Barney- I'm snuggly. You're not. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning, wrapped in a comforter when it's raining outside, and there's muffins warming in the oven. I'm cuddly BITCH, deal with it!
Barney:	I work out everyday. If there's one thing we know about Ted, it's that he likes a nice body. This body would rock his world.
Marshall:	Ted and I have a history. I know what he likes. There are things I could do to him that would blow his mind... Why do we keep trying to have sex with Ted?
Barney:	I don't know. It's weird.

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